good news!!! ive successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes
there’s nothing better than plain boneless rice
picking the bones out of every individual grain of rice is hard work but it’s worth it
(via savee-thee-bees)
Border Services just rolled up to my work and for a second I was like “Am I being deported?” But then I realized I was born here and haven’t done anything for me to be deported.
helpimbeingchasedbywaltwhitman:
y'all I can guarantee you 9/10 times cashiers do not give a flyin’ flip what you buy listen I have seen people buy laxatives and adult diapers you think I’m gonna give a damn if you’re buying tampons for your wife like bitch I probably didn’t even look at the package I’m just concerned with getting it scanned beep beep motherfucker and we’re done
This is helpful for people with anxiety
beep beep motherfucker
(via stinkw333d)
the Gaming keys……….do t even think about looking at this post if ur not a gamer
i just fuckinf noticed they switched the d and the s’s places what the…fuck?
its because the d stands for down and the s stands for sideways…. this is clearly how it was meant to be all along
W for “wupwards”
a is for “am going left”
(via joshpeck)
what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom
parents: the real world is gonna bite you in the ass!!!!11!11
me: damn the real world a freak
(via vigilantvicinity)
I felt cheated the first time I ate gushers and my head didn’t turn into a fruit
(via spongebobssquarepants)